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Monthly Archives: December 2012

On my knees


Today is yet again a sad day.  I cannot imagine what the parents of the slain children in Connecticut are going through.  I cannot imagine what the classmates are going through.  I cannot imagine what the school is going through.  I cannot imagine what the town is going through.  I cannot imagine.

A shooting like this is my working definition of unimaginable.  And yet I know I say that from a place of privilege.  Much of the world is torn the violence of poverty, of war, of hunger.  I don’t live in that world.  And although often I feel the weight of guilt about that I have to admit that when I think about my children being safe I am truly thankful for all that has been given me.  And a shooting like this shakes me to my core.

There are some good resources for parents out there about how to talk to your children about difficult things.  The link below has some good ideas.

I am struggling today with this world.  I am brought to my knees in sorrow and pain.  Children, for God’s sake, CHILDREN were killed – and in an area of the world not directly fraught with poverty and war.

I am struggling with my fear for my children, for your children, for their children.  I am brought to my knees in fear.

I could get angry.  It wouldn’t take much.  I could rise up from my knees screaming and yelling angry at the shooter, at guns, at people who support our violent society, at … It wouldn’t take much to get me off my knees.

But it is on my knees I find my faith.  Faith is the hope that when I fall on my knees someone or something will catch me or at least hold me up.  I have faith that my God will catch me when I fall.  I have faith that my community will hold me up.  Because of that I know I can fall on my knees and not fall apart.

So right now right here I will fall on my knees in pain and sorrow, in fear.  And while I am here I will pray, for the children who have died and especially for their parents.   I will pray that they may find someone or something to catch them when they fall on their knees.  I will pray for the school children who survived and their parents may they hold each other up.  I will pray for the town that it can be a true community.  I will pray for the clergy and congregations in that town.  No one can make sense of this but perhaps those religious communities can be places of safe haven.

Tomorrow I will get up off my knees.  I will get up and I will be angry.  And I pray that I let my anger fuel some constructive activism.  But tonight I am on my knees praying.  God knows this world needs it.